45 and Looking Back
Should I be saying "45 and LOVING It" as opposed to "45 and Looking Back"? Not sure that I "love" it so much when I "look back." Interesting ... it wasn't until my recent birthday that I felt my age (in spite of still looking younger than many of my friends). For the first time, I feel like I'm moving a little slower and less energetic. My skin is getting drier (I remember my mom telling me that I should use lotion and sunscreen). My eyes have significantly deteriorated in vision over the past year -- it seems like a 200% decrease in visibility, especially when attempting to read. It was only months ago (and lasting for 29 years) that my vision was good enough for me to legally drive without corrective lenses. My skin seems thinner, drier, and looser. My hair grows quickly, but seems to get drier, grayer, and frizzier. I'm getting age spots and wrinkles. I'm growing hair where I shouldn't and losing it where it should be. My mind seemed to hit capacity when I was 40, and over the past five years, while I've learned to "reboot", the retention just doesn't seem the same anymore. My physical self seems to have hit its peak about 10 years ago, and is now steadily declining, even at supersonic speed over the last two years, a rocket spiralling to the earth. However, my soul -- my mental and emotional self -- seems stronger than ever and still active and growing. Sex? I am now considered a "cougar" and while my "prey" seem to be mostly their late 20s (I must stress that I'm not tracking them, but those are the ones who keep sniffing around), their energy is enticing, but their lack of experience and intellect is boring.